Totally broken

journal entry this morning

Its been a very hard morning. I really dislike my child right now everything is setting me on edge. My mind keeps saying 'how can I love someone who treats me like this, I now what is best for her but she bulks at everything, we clash all the time, why did God give me a child like this.'

I sent everyone to there rooms because I Needed a 'time out'. I turned on some music with out really thinking I picked Todd Agnew the first song Something Beautiful totally convicted me. The chorus is what got to me, God does not see me as the sinner that I am He see's Christ who payed for my sins. That is how I need to see my daughter, Christ covers her sin and loves her even when she sins.

The song goes like this:

I am struggling to find a way to make myself attractive to You, attractive to You
I am trying to be more deserving of the gift You have to me, so free

Chorus:
It's funny how all I can be is someone completely ugly
And yet when You look at me, You don't see a wretch,
You see a reflection of something beautiful

I am searching for the water that can wash me clean enough to earn Your love
I want to stop all the things that break Your heart, but come so natural to me, naturally

CHORUS

I can't believe you could fall in love with me.




Tears began to sting my eyes as I realized thats how I am with Gods Correction in my life, I bulk, I scream, cry, run the other way. How I break his heart day after day. Totally broken

homemade Ice cream

This is the best homemade ice cream recipe I have ever had.

Jackson Homemade Ice cream

2 cans condensed milk
1 qt half and half
1 qt whole milk
1/2 cup egg beaters
1 tsp vanilla
1 cup sugar
4 cups fruit

I made peach the other day and it was amazing.

Note it is best to puree 3 of the cups of fruit and chop the remaining cut of fruit in to small cubes.

please make it and enjoy.